how blue can you get? at 14:52

i don't know what's going on...
really.
things are fluctuating so fast...
the frequency's insane...
crests and troughs...
like holding on to an angered bull...
but hardly grabbing life by the horns...
rather, getting impaled by it.

it's a little weird at times...

i am here

i am me

more than ever.

and what i know, i know for sure
why does the approach matter?
why did my words hurt?
i was being honest.
and i didn't want to hurt her.
what i said doesn't mean that's what'll happen immediately...
it it turns out one day that for real she doesn't like what happens and decides to leave, i will do anything i can do to keep her close, at least...
...
what am i on about?

fuck if i know.

blues.
what does a man need when his mind is overwhelmed?
i wish i had an answer to that question.

my guitar is not enough.
doing work isn't
maybe i need to clean up more...
or study more
or something
i dno

there are certain notes...
chords
bends
riffs...
they are constant.
and when they echo
they pull some strings a little deeper than i'm used to.
puppeteer my insides...

i've lost everything.

i hope beirut becomes something to look forward to...
cuz right now it's just something that's happening for xmas.
but i don't feel like i'm excited at all.
what the hell is wrong with me?
i need help.